Writing very calm very professional emails about money and domains to the person you still love.
As usual, I don't even know . . . I don't know if she cares, I don't know how she feels, I honestly don't know. I haven't heard a thing from her beyond the subject at hand, and I don't really expect to, but . . . sigh.
It'd be nice to know she at least thinks of me as a person.
(of course, I can't make the first move, because I'm the one who promised not to get in contact with her . . . and the only reason I can do this is because I can rationalize it as something she cares about. But I can't go further, and she might not realize why, she might not realize *I* care about *her* . . . she might not realize that I still remember that promise. She might think I'm breaking it. but I can't even tell her I'm not.)
this really sucks :/