Zorba the Hutt (zorbathut) wrote,
Zorba the Hutt

  • Mood:
life is good.

life is mostly good.

okay, life is mostly spectacular.

But only mostly.

I'm wondering if I can love. I'm realizing that I haven't really fallen in love, or really been in love, for . . . half a year. or so. maybe more. I mean, I've loved people. Platonic. And lusted. Sexual. But . . . I dunno. I don't have any memory of romantic. Maybe the want for romantic, but . . . I don't know.

Which is kind of depressing. I mean . . . I want that again. I remember how it felt, and, well . . . there is nothing to compare to it. Period. Yes, it's fantastic to have friends . . . especially really really close friends. Especially in the way I seem to be managing astonishingly frequently. Just . . . yeah.

It's weird. I'm complaining that my life is orders of magnitude better than I ever really expected. But, dammit -

I want love.

I just wish I knew where to find it.
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