Zorba the Hutt (zorbathut) wrote,
Zorba the Hutt

  • Mood:
I don't get it.

People tell me that they want me to be open, that they want me to tell them everything. Only when I do they get mad at me. So I started making sure - started saying "but what if what I'm feeling is annoyed, should I say that also?" and then they got mad at me for asking *that* question, because it showed I didn't trust them. Only then if I actually told them when I was annoyed, well, guess what? Yeah, you guessed it.

And the same thing goes for promises. I tell someone "promises are crucial to me, I never break them, can I trust you the same way" and they say "yes" and then go and break promises to me. And, see, even if I have a long discussion with someone and they agree that they're just as crucial as I think they are, somehow it gets lost - somehow there's this gap between "what I think" and "what I do" and it totally falls off and they end up saying things like "it was just a casual promise, it wasn't anything serious".

So I don't get it.

And I'm also not sure how I'm writing this calmly either. I think it's shock. Would one of the people I trust most slap me or something? . . . only if I can curl up with you and cry afterwards.

note that I'm serious on that one.
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