June 30th, 2001


(no subject)


I think that's supposed to be Bush, as seen here, who seems to have superseded Kofi Annan, the previous political recurring character, seen here and many other places.

I would also like to point out this for no particular reason. And this.

I was considering writing something deeply romantic and philsophical. Then I was considering writing something tritely romantic and philosophical. Then I was considering just asking which of the two girls vaguely in my life that I could actually have a minute chance of successfully hitting on I should, well, hit on.

In the end, though, I wrote this, so that confused entry I mentioned in the last paragraph will have to wait.
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(no subject)

no response from ex.

Chain of thought:

Is it possible she said she *didn't* check ICQ? In that case, she wouldn't have gotten my responses, and she'd be waiting for me to reply. Unfortunately, ICQ doesn't log the first messages you get from someone, so I can't go back and check.

Except: wouldn't she think that if I hadn't responded over other means, if she sent something over ICQ, then maybe she should be expecting a response over the same?

And come to think of it, she knows I respond, because she went online after I responded and authorized me to add her to her list. So she got at least one response and didn't reply, and hasn't checked for others.

or has, and hasn't replied.


Message I sent to her follows.

So, do you still care about me at all? I mean, you *claim* you do . . . then again, you claimed you'd be with me forever and all and we see how that turned out. You don't return messages, you don't show any interest in what's going on in my life. So what's the deal? Are you so busy you can't open up ICQ once every few days and lob off a response, are you not responding because you can't think of what to say, or what?

I honestly don't know what to think anymore. You claim to care, but everything you do says that you couldn't care less. As far as I know you only sent the ICQ message a few days (a week?) ago so I'd get off your back and stop bugging you at home. I've told you that I care, that I want to talk with you, that I want to be friends at least, that I'll open up to you again, and you say you don't want me to. (basically, yes, you did.)

So what am I supposed to do? Yeah, maybe I'm a bit angry at this point - I'm angry with the way I was treated, I'm angry about the broken promises and shattered dreams and all. When I said I'd die for you, I meant it, and I could probably rant about these sorts of things for five or six more messages if I really wanted to. But I don't even know if you're bothering to read this, so, hey.

Send me a message if you want to talk.

(and with my luck, you *did* reply and it got lost . . . except that I've been talking on LJ about how you haven't replied, and if you were following my life a bit you'd presumably have seen that. So, eh, I'm fed up with tiptoeing around . . . ball's in your court.)
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