July 6th, 2001


broken threads

There's this girl on my friends list who's in a bad state. Never seen "current mood: suicidal" before :( As of now, I'm still the only one who's replied to that entry, out of thirty friends or so . . . posted at 8:19 PST, too. I sent her an email also . . . I'm worried. Worried about this girl I barely know . . . so many people I found on here, I found by the equivalent of technological chaos. Random. And one day it gives me niffynoo, and one day I find cringer. And I link from place to place, and get others . . . martian, sugarymalice . . . sometimes I come in from a source outside LJ, and I end up with luna. And once in a while people randomly find me, and I end up with yitz, and wishful, and kittykatya. And more. Lots more. Just a few bits either way, and I never would have found them . . . and I never would have found zuppylover either, and she might not be alive tomorrow.

She might not be alive now.

A few bits in either direction, and I never would have known.

In fact, I might still never know. All of you, think to yourself . . . if you died tomorrow, if you were hit by a bus or kidnapped by aliens or suddenly your head exploded or something, would anyone get into your livejournal account and tell your friends what happened? Some of you I'd find out from mutual friends . . . most of you, yes. But . . . some of you only know each other over LJ anyway. I'd find out if something happened to luna, or kirub, or melek. I'd find out if it was researcher or alphonse or crackerers. I'd *definitely* find out if it was hawkswift or kareal, say. But . . . wishful? lucky2love? broadwaybaby? I might never know with some.

These links are all so tenuous, so fleeting. In five years, how many of you will I still be in contact with? What about ten years? Who will have dropped off livejournal without a sound?

Who already has? I haven't heard a thing from yitz in over a week. And he's just the only one I've consciously noticed. There are probably others . . . I didn't realize luna hadn't posted for a few days until I went looking for her last entry.

I don't think zuppylover will do anything . . . but I'm not certain, and I wish I'd gotten to know her better before this.

I'm the only person who made a comment . . .
  • Current Mood
    sad sad

(no subject)

. . . it's strange and vaguely impressive how caring my friends are.

The person I mentioned last entry, where I was the only person who had posted a reply - she now has six replies. One me, two of her friends, and three of my friends. And she's got more friends than I do.

However I've done it, I seem to have accumulated a lot of people who care about others.

she's okay, btw (well, for now) - she replied to my email and added a user pic. the second isn't exactly an action of someone who's planning to kill themselves :P
  • Current Mood
    happy happy

callahan's didn't used to hurt

but . . . something I forgot about Callahan's is that it all works out in the end. Somehow, everything ties together, and justice is served - the bad guys are punished and the good guy gets the girl. (or the other guy. whatever.)

At Callahan's, true love is true love.

It doesn't work that way in real life.
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed

(no subject)

And now there's a message from my ex on ICQ. Blinking. I haven't read it yet . . .

I don't know if I want to.

But I should.

Life hurts.