So Colin (seattle-colin) shows up at my door. "Well, I was in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd drop by." Apparently he'd come from work.
For those who don't know (i.e. most of the people who read this), Colin basically works downtown. Downtown is an hour's bus ride from my house. In the exact opposite direction from basically everything else, i.e. where Colin or any of my other friends live.
riiiight. just happened to be in the neighborhood? :P
it's nice to have friends . . .
*sigh* I just wish I could feel like any of this was helping. There were more than a few people who posted good replies to the last ungood entry I wrote, but . . .
I'm still not making any progress. Just struggling as hard as I can to simply not get swept back, and failing at that too.
I remember my ex had an analogy - I said that it felt like I was trying to pull her out and failing, and she said, no, I was keeping her from falling down. Well . . . then she climbed over me and kicked me in the head.
And now *I'm* falling.
Only I can't hold on, and I'm so far down at this point that nobody can pull me out . . .