August 23rd, 2001

sleepy

triggers

I'm missing a chunk of my mind.

Not a major one - well, not a *really* major one - but a noticeable one.

See, way back when, I had a set of triggers set up to inform me when things were wrong. They'd activate occasionally and force me to do a general scan of my mental state. The ones that wanted me to do a larger scan didn't trigger as often, of course. One would activate and I'd look at my life and say "hey, this isn't working" and I'd do something different.

Only they're gone now.

I was wandering around in the airport and realizing that I hadn't done an audit for a very long time. And I used to be able to scan them and see how likely they were to trigger.

So I did.

And they're not there anymore. Just melted stubs . . . I don't know what happened, I can only assume they got destroyed sometime in the last eight months.

I guess I have to rebuild them or something, but . . . how long is it going to take me to find all the shattered bits of myself? When am I finally going to be able to say "yes, I'm repaired"?

not yet, I guess.
sleepy

(no subject)

grrr. I won't get my computer until Monday.

Which means no programming, no talking to people . . . very little to do, in fact.

this is going to be boring and very very lonely :/
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