August 29th, 2001

sleepy

canned post - two evils

"It's the least of two evils."

how many times do people hear that? or say that?

is it really accurate?

More than one person I know is going out with someone who just plain isn't
good for them - that hurts them in some way, or doesn't feel for them, or
whatever.

But that other person also helps them, in one way or another . . .

what do you do - tell them to drop their source of healing in return for
the long-term benefits, or just live with the knowledge that they're being
hurt?
  • Current Mood
    unhappy
sleepy

walking with the wounded

There's no way I can put this comment anywhere but at the beginning. If I put it in the middle it interrupts flow, and if I put it at the end it's jarring.

So: first. The people in the link at the bottom are not me. None of them.

Second. I would have posted this as a reply on the board, but I was interested in other people's responses, it was really long, and opendiary has a @#%$ 400-character comment limit.

Third. Sam, if you're reading this, I'd *love* any replies you might have :P

Oh, and fourth - I'm getting interested in the feasability of an automated Opendiary-to-LJ portal, just so I wouldn't have to remember to check Opendiary to read your posts >_< any interest for anyone else?

okay. clear your mind - mental reset - because tone is about to change.

this.

It's . . . right. One of the best summaries of all of this, all of what me and my friends do and are, that I've read. Note that I'm none of the people referred to. (For those who know my real name, she's referring to a different one.) Yes, an entire other group of friends with similar problems . . . maybe minus the sexual deal, but . . . well, I don't know. I still don't know how I'd react, I honestly don't . . . sometimes I think I'd be fine, other times . . . I'm getting off topic. *yank*

But . . . I dunno . . . there are kinda parts to this that disturb me. "I have no problems anymore, not any real ones, or so it seems." And right after, "The scars still hurt when it rains but sometimes I can't even remember clearly where they're from."

Perhaps I'm just weird, but . . . the day I stop pointing at bits of my mind and saying "that's a problem" and trying to fix it is the day I'm dead. Emotionally, at least. It's like . . . just accepting that your car doesn't work and not even bothering to try to fix it anymore. Because once that happens, it's not going to get any better - ever - just get worse and worse as more things break and you realize you don't even know how to start repairs anymore.

It's always easier to fix glitches earlier. This is a fundamental fact of computer programming, and seems to apply to people also. You don't let scars form, or if you do, you take them out and rebuild good flesh and skin, because scars are bad and painful.

A lot of this, a lot of this entry, just strikes me as "I'm wounded. I'm damaged. I went through whatever your vision of the underworld is." Which is all too familiar. But there's an undercurrent of "and I'll never be well again, and I don't even find it worthwhile to try."

Which . . . well, it's not foreign. It's just the last line of defense in my mind is the Don't Give Up. Even when I went insane for an hour or two (find it yourself if you're curious, it's back a few months) I didn't give up on anything - I just totally focused on helping other people.

And I wonder . . . is this someone who never had that line of defense, who never cared enough to build it?

Is this someone who never realized it could be built that way, never followed the same logic paths I did and concluded that life's only a waste if you waste it?

Or is this someone who got hit even harder than I did, and had the final resort destroyed?

(Or does she have things even further on that she's relying on now, things I haven't discovered, that she discovered by necessity when Don't Give Up weakened?)
  • Current Mood
    unsure
sleepy

the Oberlin dining service

SUCKS.

at the moment.

It might get better once more people show up. But for the time being . . .

The pasta bar has been replaced by the sandwich bar. But not the sandwich bar we used to have - this sandwich bar has much less to choose from. And it's not a do-it-yourself anymore, so it'll crawl.

The meat bar and vegetarian bar are still around, but - maybe it's just me - but the overall quality of food has decreased. Just not anything I like as much.

The pizza bar's still there, unchanged.

The hotdog bar seems pretty unchanged also.

On the other hand, there's no weekly bar. And there's no oddity bar.

And no pasta bar, as I said.

Hopefully it'll get better in the future, but . . . :/
  • Current Mood
    discouraged
sleepy

Your Kids Might Have Inherited Your Kink If . . .

The neighbors complain that your kids do full body cavity searches when playing cops and robbers.

You go in the playroom and find an interrogation chair built entirely of Legos.

You come home and find the kids tickling a bound and gagged baby-sitter.

You tell your daughter she's too old to spank, and she assures you quite firmly that she isn't.

You yell to your daughter to do her chores, she answers she's tied up right now... and she really is tied up.

The kids' favorite game is Cowboy and Dominatrix.

Your son earned his merit badge in tying knots... twelve times.

You notice your son's G.I. Joe has Barbie on a leash.

You bought a clothes dryer because every time your kids went out to play, the clothesline and clothespins vanished.

You ask your son to walk the dog, and later notice the dog's still home, but the leash and your daughter aren't.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
sleepy

(no subject)

Man. Just set up someone's DHCP registration - their username was "shwang". First name started with an S, last name was "hwang".

What an amusing username :)