February 2nd, 2002


(no subject)

life is good.

life is mostly good.

okay, life is mostly spectacular.

But only mostly.

I'm wondering if I can love. I'm realizing that I haven't really fallen in love, or really been in love, for . . . half a year. or so. maybe more. I mean, I've loved people. Platonic. And lusted. Sexual. But . . . I dunno. I don't have any memory of romantic. Maybe the want for romantic, but . . . I don't know.

Which is kind of depressing. I mean . . . I want that again. I remember how it felt, and, well . . . there is nothing to compare to it. Period. Yes, it's fantastic to have friends . . . especially really really close friends. Especially in the way I seem to be managing astonishingly frequently. Just . . . yeah.

It's weird. I'm complaining that my life is orders of magnitude better than I ever really expected. But, dammit -

I want love.

I just wish I knew where to find it.
  • Current Mood
    thoughtful thoughtful

(no subject)

note to self:

next break, live somewhere else.

*anywhere* else.

Anyone know somebody who needs a housesitter for the end of March? Or is willing to rent out an apartment for a week? >_<

The problem isn't that she asks me to do things for her . . . it's that she asks me to do things for her then changes the things I'm supposed to do for her. And increases them. And forgets why it wasn't possible before. We couldn't do this last break because my computer wasn't here. That seems pretty obvious to me. Now, I was working under the (apparently mistaken) assumption that it would be enough to put my computer together and get it hooked up to the 'net. Then she said she wanted the linux box set up with IP masquerading. Okay, I can do that.

Now she wants it all done so she watch and learn, and she wants *both* computers set up, and, well, this is totally impossible for many reasons. One of which is utterly simple.

We don't have enough wires. We can't physically connect all the computers.

Not only that, but the hub's mine and I'm taking it back.

You would think this would matter.

Which brings me to what I said before . . . anyone know someone who needs a housesitter for a week in the end of March?

(it's almost a pity I really want to come back now >_<)
  • Current Mood
    frustrated frustrated