August 13th, 2002


(no subject)

geez. what on earth is going on with LJ Support? it's like half the volunteers are just up-and-leaving!

Truly bizarre. I almost wish I'd kept privs, just so I could see what on earth was going on.
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    confused confused

(no subject)

The annoying thing about doing network programming . . . my program stopped working for no apparent reason. Time to debug! I tried one or two little things - no change - then gave up and added a bunch of error checking.

In the time it took me to write the error checking, the problem went away.


emotional sisyphus

it never ends.

it's just an unending stream, and i can't find a way out.

i find one person to care about me just in time for the last one to leave me . . . and then i frantically search for another one, before the current one realizes that they don't like me.

because they will.

it's inevitable.

and there are a few exceptions, people who by all rights should hate me by now but for some reason don't. very few. and i make every effort to avoid stressing that relationship. to avoid leaning too much. because it will fail eventually, it has to, but for now maybe it's an emergency reserve if things fall apart faster than i thought they would.

and eventually i won't be able to find someone new.

eventually everyone will leave me.

i can't keep this up forever.
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