August 23rd, 2002


love is forever

it is, you know.

i've said those special three words to some people . . . and some of them have left me. or hurt me.

but it doesn't mean I don't care anymore. just because i'm not starting the conversation. just because i haven't said anything. it just means i don't want to hurt you, i don't want to be hurt.

it's not that i don't trust you. i just don't trust the fact that i trust you.

though that's a lie, now. some people i don't trust. a lot of people i don't trust.

i'm worrying now that i've gone in the wrong direction. that maybe i've done the wrong thing. people tell me i shouldn't judge the future based on the past, but how else am i to learn?

four to six months.

the beginning of the year.

one last chance.

too many coincidences.

it's true, you know. if i've said those three words to you, they're still true.

they'll always be true.

(no subject)

You know, modern games just don't have the style of old games.

I'm currently downloading every MAME rom (yes, every one :P) and decided to play a game that looked pretty good. It's your basic vertical-scroller, like 1942 or Tyrian or Raptor or Raiden or basically any other game in that genre. They're all pretty similar.

So I'm flying along, at high speed, and this gigantic bomber shows up! It's about as wide as the screen and has six enormous jet engines mounted on it. I discover quite quickly that if the engines flare when I'm behind them, I get killed.

Okay, not a problem. I shoot the engines. A lot.



I die. A lot. (Good thing quarters are free.) Finally I start blowing away all the engines . . .

and the places where the engines were start sprouting GATLING CANNONS!


Finally all the engines are dead, and so are the gatling cannons . . . and it starts launching missles from the front, which curve around to hit me!

Luckily I can now hit its wings. So I do! I blow off the ends . . . and now I can hit the *middles*.

This is one durable plane.

So I blow away the middle of the wings. And it starts exploding!


And the center shell blows away and suddenly there's a small jet, shaped roughly like the center area of a bomber, WITH MACHINE GUNS AT ALL CORNERS.

And so I kill all of *those*, and blast away at it thinking "oh, I'm okay now" . . . only I didn't notice the hatch open in the bottom of it, and the small energy emitter come out, and it fired an blue energy beam that was quite literally four times wider than my ship and annihilated me.

I'm just glad quarters were free.