December 19th, 2004


(no subject)

Just cleaned out my answering machine.

15 messages total.

1 call from virtual256 - I'm presuming I don't need to call you back, I'm not sure when you called me but we've talked less than two hours ago and you didn't have anything urgent to tell me about. And this is at least a week old.
1 call from my dad, who I should call back.
1 call from UPS, which I'll return soon.
3 "This is an Important Message" calls. It's a particular piece of recorded telemarketing that they've been calling me with ever since I moved in. I don't actually know it's telemarketing, but since they never say what the message is, and it's always the same canned message, I suspect. Someday I will call them back and try to buy snake oil or headlight fluid from them.
1 person calling to tell me my son is in jail, which is a very nice trick. Once I have a son he'll have to teach me how to travel through time. (I did call this guy back, just to make sure he knew he'd gotten the wrong number - he apologized and said he'd figured it out.)
1 person, named "Reia", calling for my mom. I called her back and left a message saying that my mom is in Seattle and she probably has the wrong phone number. I gave her my name, in case she can crossreference that somehow. I didn't give her my phone number. I wonder what she'll make of that.
5 people calling to say "Hello? Hello?" and hanging up.

I have a theory about that last group. I think many telemarketer systems check for answering-machine-ness by simply seeing how long the person who picks up talks. Very few people pick up the phone and immediately read a chapter of Moby Dick - most of us start with "Hello", or at the most, "Hi, you've reached the desk of Mister Burns, how may I direct your call".

My answering machine message is "Hi, this is my answering machine, leave a message. *beep*"

So I'm pretty sure the telemarketer system is thinking my answering machine is a real person, and sending the call to a real telemarketer . . . which I'm quite happy about, since it means added costs for them with virtually no more effort on my part.

You may notice that only adds up to 14 messages. The last message is someone who apparently called me to leave an automated message that all their lines are busy and that I should wait for the next available caller. The levels of recursion in this are truly mindblowing.

(no subject)

<ZorbaTHut> that was the best boss battle ever.
<ZorbaTHut> I just killed a robotic Britney Spears with a guided rocket launcher.
<ZorbaTHut> ON STAGE, at that.
<_m_> ZorbaTHut: sounds quite Freudian.
<ZorbaTHut> stone, only because it's the best game imaginable.
<ZorbaTHut> _m_, I could have used pretty much any weapon I wanted, I just like the rocket launcher. it explodes real big.
<StoneCyph> ZorbaTHut: if you don't stop saying that, i'm going to break my year-long no game buying streak
<ZorbaTHut> though I did run out of ammo and have to resort to the lava gun and the Glove of Doom.
<StoneCyph> i swear to piss, if you don't stop making this sound cool, you son of a bitch
<squeeze> a whole year!
<ZorbaTHut> stone, if you don't have a PS2, you'd need to get one of those also. :P
<StoneCyph> this is like going into an AA meeting and talking about this really great scotch you found in the lowlands
<StoneCyph> also, oprah and twinkies
<ZorbaTHut> "Welcome to the Zeldrin Starport. Due to galactic security, thermonuclear warheads and nail clippers are no longer permitted in carryon baggage."
<StoneCyph> No. I refuse to believe that's from a game.
<StoneCyph> REFUSE.
* ZorbaTHut kills ninjas with a black hole launcher