Zorba the Hutt (zorbathut) wrote,
Zorba the Hutt
zorbathut

I wonder who invented the idea of cooking meat. I can see it happening in one of four basic ways.

First, the least likely - the Eccentric Genius.

genius> I know! Let's put meat over this fire, then take it *off* the fire, then eat it!

Second, the Act of Fate.

warrior> Let's tip our arrows with fire so they hurt more. Now let's shoot that (large meaty critter).
(large meaty critter)> Ouch, ouch, ouch. I'm on fire. Now I'm dead.
warrior> Hey, this tastes much better than most (large meaty critter)s.

Third, the Moron and the Slightly Less of a Moron.

moron> I think I'll burn some meat up.
(several minutes later)
slightly-less-moron> Wait. If he burns the meat . . . we won't have any meat left!
moron> Hey, give me my burning meat back!
slightly-less-moron> Despite how much this hurts to eat, it's actually quite tasty.

And fourth . . .

genius> I know! Let's put meat over this fire, then take it *off* the fire, then eat it!
warrior> Idiot! *smack*
genius> Ouch, ouch, ouch. I have fallen into the fire. I will now get out of the fire. Oops, too late. I'll die here, I guess.
warrior> Let's eat him.

. . . cannibalism.
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