I'm obviously not in the world's best shape in general . . . there's just been way too much pain in the last year, and I haven't really gotten a chance to recover at any point. So a lot of things are damaged inside. Right now . . . I'm okay.
I suppose it's worth mentioning that I'm stubborn enough that I'll do basically anything to avoid hurting myself more than necessary. If I end up self-destructing . . . well, it's because I didn't really have a choice. But that won't happen for a long time yet, I've still got a few options.
so yeah. better. sort of.