I'm not trying to kick her out. I'm trying to keep myself in. Trying to guilt-trip me because I should be more "reasonable" is not going to work. This decision is long past "what I'm comfortable with" and has gone far into the "what I can survive" zone. Understand? Last week I went and found out how to cut myself - yes, that's right, cut my arms with a knife - without doing permanent damage, so that if it *did* come to that, I'd be able to. I AM NOT IN GOOD SHAPE.
So fucking back off. I'm doing my best and I don't need people pressuring me to make the decision they think is right.