Zorba the Hutt (zorbathut) wrote,
Zorba the Hutt

  • Mood:
you know, you should be depressed. you should be scared. look at yourself. look at your life, look at your soul.

you should be terrified.

why aren't you?

that's a really good question, that I only just thought of . . . and that should be scaring me also, but it isn't. I'm coming to the conclusion that the last hit did far more damage than I imagined.

Hold on. Lemme back up a bit.

I've got a lot of redundant systems. I've got a lot of internal checks. Most of them I built up over a long period of time. See, I could sit around and think in-depth about everything I say, only then I'd never get anywhere. So the solution is to tune reflexes to give the same results, then doublecheck once in a while to make sure nothing's changed.

And then there are the governors, the bits that make sure I don't spin out of control. The ones that keep the energy inside, where it's supposed to be, instead of blasting loose and possibly hurting someone (including myself).

Naturally all these have checks and counters stacked on top of *them* also.

Unfortunately they're also all missing.

Now, this happened once before, and I was able to rebuild them. The difference is, right now I don't care. So I burn out, so my reflexes shift and twist and end up wrong, so I start leaking energy and possibly causing serious damage.

So what?

It's almost amusing. All these things I maintained for years, and they only hurt me. Now they're gone, and I'm free to burn as hot as I want, until everything's gone. And really, that's why I should be scared. All the checks are gone and there's nothing left between me and infinity.

But all things considered, infinity's looking pretty good right now.
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