There's this other guy I know who goes by the name of geekalpha. I imagine you can see where this is going. He's smart, he's a tech, he's interesting. He has little respect for idiots, and none for manipulators. He's definitely caustic at times, and seems a bit cynical. A lot of the other details I don't know specifically . . . I get the same feeling, but really, I don't know him all that well. After all, he's a loner. Oh, and he's a great writer.
I heard a few things about Corwin's past. One or two failed love affairs, when he was used . . . a bunch of idiots, a bunch of manipulation, growing intolerance all around. Apparently it took a while. I don't know if there was an event that was the "last straw" or not. I don't really know what he used to be, only that he sounded a lot like me. He always promised he'd take me out to a bar and get me laid someday, and if he was around right now (he's vanished for a bit . . . he'll be back eventually) I might take him up on it.
I've heard absolutely nothing about Geek Alpha's past. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if it was similar. It also wouldn't surprise me in the least if it was completely different.
There's this third guy I know, and it's me . . .
I guess I'm going the same way. Maybe this is a standard pattern, maybe this is what happens to intelligent tech idealists when they hit the real world. There's more than one submeaning to the word "users", and many of us seem to have gotten well-acquainted with all of them. We spend our days being logical, we spend our days knowing that lies don't work because computers do what you say, not what you mean, no matter how much you might wish it. And then we run full-force into the blindingly convoluted web of human emotions.
What's our reflex? We cut through it and just keep going . . . and some people give us hurt wounded looks, or blame us for their problems because we won't play along. And for a while we coddle them and feel bad about it (or maybe some of us don't), but then we get tired of it, we get tired of double standards, and we start giving others precisely the same tolerance for mistakes and obfuscation and downright lies that we give ourselves, precisely the same tolerance we're given by our tools, which is to say, absolutely none.
So I guess I'm turning into Corwin or Geek Alpha, which really isn't a bad thing from my perspective. I respect 'em both, and if I'm ever in the same city as either (not that I actually know what city that *is* for either of them, but that's not the point) I plan to buy 'em a beer. Things could be worse, after all.
Oh, and I like to think I'm a good writer.
On a completely related note, I want to go clubbing, or at least do *something* more social and random. This presents difficulties, mostly related to not knowing where to go in Seattle that doesn't suck and not knowing the rules, whether they be spoken, unspoken, written, unwritten, or, in fact, totally obscure. Searching the internet for guides has proven fruitless (though in retrospect, this is totally unsurprising, and any guide on the Internet on how to have a social life should probably be taken with a grain of salt anyway.) Most of my friends are, if anything, even more antisocial than I am (yes, this is impressive, and yes, there are exceptions), so asking around poses problems. Anyone got suggestions/guides/pointers/offers to take me out? I'd just go and experiment, but I figure there are a limited number of places, and thus I don't particularly want to end up blacklisted from anything :P