Zorba the Hutt (zorbathut) wrote,
Zorba the Hutt
zorbathut

I'm weak. I admit it. I finally gave in to that rampant meme and got five questions asked of myself. Bah. As stated in the rules, here are the rules:
1 -- Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 -- I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 -- You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 -- You'll include this explanation.
5 -- You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

Like you really needed to read that :P Incidentally, if you decide you want to ask me questions, you can do that also - I've been avoiding this whole thing but I finally give up (pfft), but as such, I haven't gotten any questions to answer. So: My questions, as asked by geekalpha:

1. What is the most important characteristic of a person that you choose to have in your life?

I'd have to say tolerance. I know I'm not the easiest person to be good friends with - I go apparently at random between all my various passions, and some people find that a bit hard to deal with. When you couple that with my various emotional problems (which I'm working on, really, they're just not all entirely fixed yet), I'm not always a laugh a minute. Then again, neither is anyone else - I figure if they're not willing to put up with me when I'm imperfect, I don't have any pressing reason to put up with them when they're imperfect, and I'm not afraid to say so. So - for multiple reasons - the answer ends up being tolerance. :P

2. What do you believe is your greatest strength of character?

I'd have to say personal willpower. There's a whole lot I'm still struggling with, but I refuse to let it beat me, and I'm going to make a life for myself that I can enjoy. Even if it is going to be ludicrously difficult :P

3. What do you believe is your greatest weakness of character, and what have you done to mitigate it?

Do I have to pick just one? >_< I think at the moment it would have to be difficulty with other people. I swing between not understanding them and understanding them too well, and I find it very hard to make and keep good friendships. Maybe I just haven't been meeting the right people, but I don't have any evidence of that. As for what I'm trying to do - I spent some effort trying to get out and be more social, though admittedly that sort of fell apart when I had to move (closely followed by deadlines at work). However, this is probably my main motivation for going back to college. Plus, I'm trying to get myself out of a city where it seems everyone knows someone who hates me, and where the situation really isn't improving over time. I don't know if these will be enough - I don't consider this problem really solvable in the next month or two, so I haven't spent a whole lot of effort thinking of ways to solve it. (You're fully within your rights to smack me if you don't see me making effort on this next year - that goes to everyone reading this :P)

I'm going to have to amend this response, actually, and add "trust". I do not trust people right now. Period. I haven't come up with any way to solve this yet . . . if anyone's got any ideas I'd love to hear them, but saying "you should learn to trust people" doesn't help - experience has shown that trust leads to betrayal nine times out of ten (or so. I haven't counted recently.) and that's what the problem is.

4. What single thing in your life has been most inspiring to you, and why?

People. I know that's going to sound weird, considering my stated loathing of humanity in general, but I've come to the conclusion that if you're not having fun, you're not living your life right. And so, in a way, my goal for life is to enjoy it and to see that other people enjoy it. Which is one of the reasons I like games - it's part of that whole entertainment industry, and so that's what I want to do. It's ironic that I've gotten turned down by people because they're in politics and don't see my life as being meaningful - by my standards, *their* life is the one with questionable meaning, since they're not enjoying it and they're usually not aiming towards "we want people to be happier in general".

5. What has been the most moving thing you have ever witnessed?



I'm having some serious trouble coming up with a good answer to this one, and it's taking me a while to decipher why also. Part of it, of course, is that I'm intentionally avoiding anything really cliche unless I agree with it. I've realized that I don't really consider people spending their lives on freedom to be moving - that's where they've chosen to spend their life, after all. I don't expect anyone to rave about the great sacrifice I'm making by devoting my life to games, and it's sort of the same thing in my mind. (Yeah, okay, people are going to argue with me on this one. I'll save that discussion for later.)

There's a few ways things can be moving, to me - it could be something highly beautiful, something highly romantic, or something highly selfless. There's probably others, but those are the ones that spring immediately to mind. "Romantic" is flat-out because, to this day, the most successful relationship I've been in was the one that lasted a week before we mutually broke it off - and I refuse to make my most-moving-thing be someone else's romantic encounter. "Beautiful" is tricky because most of the beauty I find on a regular basis is in games, and I don't want to make *that* my most moving thing either. I could go off and find a moving piece of music or movie or book, but with the possible exception of "book", none of those have ever had a major impact on my life. And I can't name a single game that had an impact either, because I assimilate so many that none of them stand out. (Doh.)

The only thing left is "selfless" - and I've already mentioned why most of those don't synch for me. The only thing I can come up with would be, after getting dumped by my first girlfriend, heronblue telling me I could come wake her up at any time if I needed someone to talk to (which I did indeed have to do more than once.) She didn't have to do that, but . . . she did, at a time I needed it. *refrains from going on about this at length*

The other thing I can go back to is "book" - there are a few books I treasure because they really speak to me. The problem is, the set of books I treasure changes frequently, as I outgrow the old books that meant a lot to me and find new ones. At one point or another, this list has included Ender's Game, the War Against the Chtorr, Sandman, and Hellspark - the only one of those that's stood the test is time is Hellspark (the first two dropped out of my conscioucness eventually, the third hasn't had time to). Hellspark is a fantastic beautiful book that's fundamentally about differences between people - here is the amazon page for it (and it should say a lot that despite owning two copies of this book *and* having given one away, I'm considering buying it again.)

In the end, though, I feel like I haven't really answered the question. You've asked me about what moving things I've witnessed, and the fact is, I haven't witnessed many. I haven't seen real human beings doing truly wonderful things for each other very often. (To be honest, the number of people I've seen be anything other than self-serving is mighty low.) The few times I've heard about "altruistic" people, it often seems staged to me, or a PR stunt. Unless I'm experiencing it first-hand, it loses a lot of its plausibility in my mind. There's probably something meaningful about me in this somewhere :P

So . . . there you have it. If your question is "what's the most moving thing you've witnessed in real life that didn't involve you immediately" . . . I'm not sure I have an answer for you.
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