(1) Mind over matter.
(2) Quantum uncertainty principle.
(3) I know where I'm moving (namely, I'm going to bed.)
(4) Therefore, thanks to 2 and 3, I can't know where I am.
(5) Therefore, thanks to 1 and 4, I'm not anywhere.
(6) If I'm not anywhere, I'm clearly not here.
And that's why I'm going to bed.
I'll be back late Friday.