Zorba the Hutt (zorbathut) wrote,
Zorba the Hutt

why I'm looking forward to Final Fantasy Advent Children

So there was a Final Fantasy movie a while back.

It blew.

Sure, it was pretty. But it just wasn't interesting. The plot wasn't gripping. The characters weren't gripping. The action sequences -

Well, the action sequences were actually quite awesome. Every time they just cut loose and said "okay now we're going to be driving a dune buggy down a bunch of supertech three-lane highways while evil glowing ghosts try to destroy their souls, and also, the highways are going to be exploding" it was, to be honest, completely badass.

And then they went back to "omg we're hurting the planet ;.;" and it sucked.

The Final Fantasy Advent Children trailer, on the other hand, was basically 100% awesomeness. You've got a sword battle riding powersliding motorcycles along a bridge. You've got Tifa managing to somehow recover from being thrown against a wall at supersonic speed, and landing on her feet. (On the wall.) You've got a gigantic explosion that somehow disgorges Cloud, again riding a motorcycle, sword in hand, making an aerial assault (while still on the flying spinning motorcycle) with his sword. And you have, of course, Sephiroth. And One-Winged Angel.

People have been saying "wouldn't it be amazing to see a battle with Cloud and Sephiroth, and One-Winged Angel playing in the background, in a movie theater?" ever since Final Fantasy 7 was released.

So am I looking for plot in this movie? No. I want an hour and a half of pyrotechnic physics-defying beatdown. And maybe, with luck, I'll get it.

And in my next entry I'll logically explain why these things look so cool, in terms of kinetic energy, inelastic collisions, and chaos theory.

No, seriously.
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